Random Thoughts
Because Coherent Is Overrated
Issue #2
By Allan Trottier
Everyday Contradictions That Keep Me Awake at Night
Life is full of little contradictions. Not the big philosophical ones, like “What’s the meaning of life?” but the small, everyday absurdities that make you stop mid-sandwich and think, Wait… what?
Here are a few that refuse to leave my brain:
· We spend half our lives trying to be unique… and the other half desperately trying to fit in.
“Be yourself,” they say, as long as your self is wearing the right shoes and does not talk too loudly in public.
The world tells us to “just be yourself,” then hands us a dress code.
Nothing says authenticity quite like a mandatory polyester polo with your company’s logo stitched on the chest.
I want restaurants to bring my food fast, but if they do it too fast… I am suspicious.
Like, did you have this plate just waiting under the counter? Did someone else order this and regret their life choices? Is it even mine?
We carry smartphones with GPS, AI, and video calls to space—and still forget why we walked into the kitchen.
My phone can tell me the square root of 5,742 in 0.3 seconds, but it cannot tell me what I came in here for.
Everyone wants “honest feedback,” until they get it.
The only correct response to “Tell me what you think” is: “It’s perfect.” Always. Even if it is a charcoal drawing of a cat that looks like a potato.
Gym memberships promise results if you show up regularly. Ironically, so does the fridge.
Only one of them has snacks.
We trust strangers to deliver our food, drive us places, and even babysit our dogs—but will not trust them when they say, “the Wi-Fi is working fine.”
Because obviously, the Wi-Fi router is gaslighting me.
We complain that time moves too fast but spend hours scrolling memes about how time moves too fast.
By The Way, you have now been reading this for two minutes. You’re welcome.
Random contradiction of the day: We love surprises… except when we do not know what they are. Birthday parties? Fun. A spider falling from the ceiling? Less fun.
